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why its ok not to be cool. or I’m a loser but its ok

I’m a loser, but its ok. Lets all embrace our inner loser. First of all, stop trying desperately to impress other people (who by the way, probably couldn’t care less regarding what clothes you are wearing). Once you stop worrying what others think of you, your life is going to become immeasurably more enjoyable. Below I have listed the main categories which I think apply to most of our ideas of how we should behave. In most cases we are following some social convention or formality. Or we are desperate for others to approve of ourselves.

Going on holiday

Most people will spend a fortune going away somewhere on holiday, with all the other people who have decided to go to the same places. The problem is that the popular places tend to be the most crowded. Aside from the deleterious environmental affects of getting on a plane, air plane travel hasn’t been sexy or cool since the Frank Sinatra album ‘Come Fly with Me.’ So if you don’t care going to the latest ‘hot’ destination, stay at home. Explore your own country. leave the airports and the beaches to the kind of sad people who need a holiday because their lives are so boring and sad.

Buying clothes

There is nothing wrong with buying clothes. But step inside any high street shop and you will soon realise that the shops are changing the clothes every few months to suit what ever trend is currently in. So currently there might be a lot of stripes on men’s clothes. At the moment men’s jackets have narrower lapels, rather than the wider cut of a few years. The problem with buying the latest clothes is that they will go out of fashion very quickly. Just buy the clothes you like, wear them till they fall apart.  charity shops used to be perfect places for people not bothered with keeping up with the latest trends. but its getting much harder now that most shops have paid staff who are required to get the most for their goods. For a shop that is almost the opposite of cool, try Marks & Spencer. They do actually have some half decent collections. ANyway, nearly all clothes on the high street are made in the same factories, so it probably doesn’t matter where you buy your clothes from.


Going Out

We all have to go out occasionally, but there is nothing worse than going to one of the supposedly cool places as recommended by say, the Evening standard. Its a fact that you will probably meet nice enough people wherever you go. But if you only go to the trendy places you be still stressed trying to fit in that you won’t be able to enjoy yourself. what I’m dsaying is, avoid Camden, Brixton, or anywhere near Shoreditch. Instead why not try going out in one of London’s neglected boroughs, such as Richmond, Acton, Ealing, etc.

Coffee

Damn it, coffee has now become the latest fashionable trend, on the same level as eating out has become. So there are now countless overpriced coffee shops with names like Workshop and Kaffeine. Yes they might serve decent coffee, but you’ll be served by an angry hipster with overdone facial hair. They do a pretty good coffee in Starbucks by the way.

Restaurants

Again, many popular restaurants fall victim to all the top ten lists. Even very good restaurants can fall to the strain of trying to satisfy people’s expectations. As soon as somewhere gets an award or accolade, its probably going to be downhill from there. You can eat out well as long as you find a cuisine that people aren’t raving about. A few years ago we were all supposed to be eating Scandinavian cuisine (noma, Faviken, etc). Then it was Peru that was the cuisine of choice. The fact that people need to have a constant array of choices shows how ridiculous things are getting. You can eat welll if you follow the really traditional cuisines such as Japanese or Country french cooking – where most of the recipes haven’t changed for hundreds of years.

TV

It really is the worst when everyone is going on about the latest tv show that you absolutely have to watch. then when you get round to watching it its the biggest piece of junk since the terrible Friends spin-off. A few modern tv shows such as Mad Men are rightly hailed as classics. Most are just considered to be great because they fit in with popular social views or fit into a grand narrative. I normally wait a while before watching a tv show that everyone is raving about. This may explain why I only started watching Twin Peaks last year.

Music

Probably music is the most cursed by the vagaries of coolness than all the other categories. Pop music has always been about novelty. people are more interested in a song that came out last week than say, an album that was realised a few years ago but didn’t do well because the singer or the band didn’t have the right image. Now some would say that classical music is the opposite of pop, becuase the composers are mostly dead. Yes, classical music has a sometimes unfair reputation for being dull. yet if you ever watch Glen Gould or Alison Balsom, you will be anything but bored. Sometimes its more boring to listen to what everyone else is listening to. The internet should be of some help here. Sadly it looks as though everyone is watching Beyonce and Gangnam Stlyle on Youtube.

Birthdays

Lets get one thing clear: birthdays suck. yet for some reason people persist in celebrating them year in year out, in a desperate attempt to show the world how popular they are. Now naturally birthdays shouldn’t be an issue if you’re not cool, because you won’t need to impress your cool friends. The other thing you will avoid is the nightmarish one-upmanship that befalls most people when their birthday rolls around for another year, becuase they already had the most amazing birthday last year. So anything less than a night at a Michelin Star restuarant (tasting menu, of course) followed by a bar on the top floor of a 5 star hotel followed by a two week stay in St Barts is not going to cut it.

Naturally everyone wants to have fun on their birthdays. But when everyone else is seemingly having fun because they invited 12 of their ‘friends’ to a restaurant, it can suck if you have to spend your birthday by yourself. So here’s what you can do if you find yourself celebrating a birthday alone. Go to a social place where it is easy to meet and talk to other people. Make a point of telling as many people as possible that its your birthday. Now normally most people are wary of talking to strangers but I guarantee that when you tell them its your birthday they will start treating you like a friend. They will feel comfortable around you and feel like they know you well. Pretty soon, you’ll have built up a decent gathering around you. You can even ask people to join you to help celebrate your birthday. You’ll be amazed at how keen people are to help. Before you know it, you’ll have amassed a gathering of your own, with people who aren’t there out of duress but actually want to help you celebrate. Now isn’t that better than the Crappy birthdays most normal people enjoy?

Dating websites

Yes I have been on several online dating websites. I find them to be an unnecessary evil. Of course, the big problem is that women are looking for a partner whereas men want to get laid. The other downside is that its hard to imagine why any half decent woman would need to be on there in the first place. My advice is to steer well clear. this way you will avoid all those tragic people attempting to sound interesting, fun and cool, when they are none of these things.

So there you go. I really don’t think it matters whether people think that you are cool or not, and being popular is overrated too. When the majority of people are idiots, why would you want to be popular?

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